Couples therapy

What is

Same-sex couples present problems common to heterosexual couples: communication problems, jealousy, infidelity…But the development of a homosexual’s personality, in a society where homosexuality has only recently begun to be really accepted, brings together two people who bring to the relationship a past history, in which they have experienced to a greater or lesser extent a stressor specific to homosexual couples, homophobia, which many of them end up internalizing. To assume that they are completely different from heterosexual couples would be a fallacy and an exaggeration, but not admitting that there are differences would also be a mistake.

In the first session, both members of the couple are called together. In order to get a version of the situation from both parties and to evaluate how they interact in session. It will be explained which is the dynamic to follow in the couple therapy, the importance of their commitment, sincerity in the testimonies and the work outside of sessions.

The second session is done individually with each of the members of the couple separately, to know the situation without the presence of the partner and to evaluate if there are individual issues that should be worked on before starting the couple therapy. Several questionnaires will be given, which will have to be completed by the couple individually, of great importance to gather the necessary information for a more complete intervention.

The third and subsequent sessions will be attended to the couple jointly and individually depending on the evolution of the therapeutic process.

No two couples are alike, just as no two people are alike, so psychotherapy is completely individualized, adapted to their specific needs, but in general the treatment objectives are usually training in skills to increase reinforcement, improve communication, acquisition of problem solving skills, negotiation and agreements, acquisition of a new interpersonal vocabulary, learning conversational skills, expression, stimulus control, planning and use of free time, etc ….

Most common problems

Sexual Area
Along with individual problems such as erectile dysfunction, anorgasmia or premature ejaculation, homosexual couples, mainly male, in many cases clash with the decision of sexual exclusivity or not, one of the most frequent problems seen in consultation. Another specific problem is the flexibility or not of sexual roles in the couple relationship, citing some of the most frequent.
Social Area
Lack of agreement on social and leisure activities, either too much or too little joint activities, separately or with other people, is a common problem. Not feeling integrated into the partner's social group or not being well regarded by that group would be another example of problems in the social area.
Coexistence problems
Discrepancies in who is in charge of doing the chores and what tasks correspond to each one, who decides what to do and when to do it, living together or not, private spaces within the common space, are typical problems in the area of cohabitation.
Communications area
Inadequate expression of opinions, feelings, criticisms or desires; lack of attitude and active listening skills on the part of one or both partners. Deficits in assertiveness and social skills in general in one or both partners. Differences in how each partner shows the other his/her need to be heard, understood, valued or recognized.
Family area
Problems related to the family of origin: non-acceptance of their child's sexual orientation, to cite the most common. Relationships with the parents of each partner. The care of children from other relationships, and the relationship with the mother or father of these often generates conflicts.
Emotional Area
Differences in how each member shows affection and tenderness to the other. Expression of emotions in public or not, is a frequent topic of discussion.
«Outing»
Also known as coming out, it is often a conflict in some couples, where one partner is out for their family, work, friends and the other partner is not.
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